The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong ‘Gandhi’. In life each of us experience many hurts from a close friend, a neighbour, a colleague or a family member who has betrayed our trust. Such situations generate feelings of anger and resentment. If we frequently think of the person who has hurt us or have feelings of anger and revenge towards that person, it is a clear sign that we need to forgive that person.
Well, forgiveness is the ability to release the mind and the heart of all past hurts and failures, all sense of guilt and loss. It helps us to overcome anger or the desire to punish the other person. Often many people refuse to forgive others. They consider that when a person forgives he shows his weakness. Whereas Great people like Gandhi tell us that forgiveness is a virtue of strong people who have humility, courage, integrity, love, mercy and a sense of Community.
When forgiveness does not take place the offender and offended are both in bondage. Thus the families consume a lot of anger. They do not enjoy the fruits of true happiness. Forgiveness is a must for a healthy living. We often think that unwillingness to forgive leads to an unequal relationship where the offender is in one – down position. But the truth is that not only is the offender is in bondage, but also the person who is unwilling to forgive, because he/she is never able to remove himself / herself from a range of sickness that cannot be cured with the best of medicines. So how can we forgive others? Remember God constantly forgives us for our gravest sins. Think of the moments when you have been forgiven by others and let this guide you in the forgiveness process. One should remember to avoid unnecessary retelling of the offense. We should develop empathy and emotional understanding for the situation of your offender so also think from his/her perspective. With the help of prayer, meditation or some activity, one can liberate oneself from the anger that is gripping you.
In life every person’s sense of worth is very important hence by forgiving them you help them in their personal experience of forgiveness.
Having Compassion for the offender will greatly help you to forgive him or her. The more you can see the hurtful situation through the eyes of the other, the easier it will be for you to forgive him / her. Viewing the offender with compassion can be difficult, but it is a critical step in the forgiveness process. As one gains more empathy for the offender, one experiences a decrease in negative feelings towards the one who hurt you. The most important is to avoid punishing the person who wronged you. Well it is very difficult at times but there lies the beauty. It is easier said than done. Pray fervently and it will bring you to great heights.
Now as we are in the extra ordinary jubilee year of Mercy, we have got a great opportunity to seek forgiveness for all our sins and also to forgive others. So why not experience the power of Forgiveness?
Tr. Savia Gomes Pereira